DAY 13
DATE: Monday, September 3, 2012
TIME: 10:11 pm
A. OPENING THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS:
Started out not wanting to do this. Drained and tired. Was working with Apathy when I started today’s workout. In retrospect, I think this is a good thing because it does clearly demonstrate how these techniques can improve the emotional motivation for a workout. Not only did I get in the gym and do my thing, I left feeling pretty good.
My Course in Miracles work is causing me to consider that God didn’t create this world. If we see a world of depression, scarcity, or competition then that is a world created in the ego’s own image. I wish to choose Oneness over the ego’s version of the world. The mantra keeps repeating through my mind: “Any unloving thought keeps me in hell.” Which means that all loving thoughts will free me.
I find that I’m not really concerned as much about my physical appearance for the production (which opens very soon.) But I feel confident considering my recent drop in body fat percentage and strength increase.
B. DREAM ENTRY:
No dreams to report today.
C. Repeat same exercise as yesterday. One slight difference:
Convert your emotions after every two sets. If you run out of emotions
then repeat your original intentions until finished your workout.
***
The Workout
Focus on Legs
1. Exercise 1: Dumbbell Box Squats
___4___ Sets of ____12___ Reps
Identify 1st Emotion: Apathy
Free association with 1st Emotion.
(a) I’m too tired for this shit.
I don’t care anymore because I don’t feel good today.
My stamina is growing stagnant.
I’m not getting any younger.
Life is stale.
After Set 2: Continue free association with same emotion.
(b) Nobody cares about this and sometimes it sounds like self-righteous bullshit.
I'm just naive and indulge in wishful thinking.
Convert 1st Emotion Apathy into 2nd Emotion Grief
After Set 3: Continue.
(c) I grieve over not being as young and energetic as I once was.
I grieve at having to work harder now that I’m in my late thirties.
I grieve over the loss of the cardiovascular energy I once had.
After Set 4 (or between sets): Continue.
(d) I grieve over my aspirations of wanting to be a good person.
I grieve over the ability to claim ignorance for my stupid decisions.
2. Exercise 2: Machine Leg Press
___4___ Sets of ____12_____ Reps
Convert 3rd Emotion: Grief into the 4th Emotion: Fear
Convert 3rd Emotion into 4th Emotion.
(a) I fear suffering a heart attack.
I fear pain.
I fear failing.
After Set 2: Continue.
(b) I fear that I’ve become pathetic.
I fear that I know enough now to rip myself apart with criticism.
Convert 4th Emotion Fear into 5th Emotion Desire/Greed
After Set 3: Continue.
(c) I want to be indestructible, invulnerable and invincible!
I want to feel great!
I want to succeed beyond my wildest dreams!
After Set 4 (or between sets): Continue.
(d) I want to be competent and valuable.
I want to use my knowledge for productive means.
3. Exercise 3: Leg Extensions
__3_ Sets of ____12___ Reps
Convert 5th Emotion: Greed/Desire into the 6th Emotion: Anger
Convert 5th Emotion into 6th Emotion.
(a) I’m angry that life is complicated!
I’m angry that other people are so materialistic!
I’m angry that I have this ability and desire but no one cares!
After Set 2: Continue.
(b) I’m angry that I get lonely.
I’m angry that I’ve spent so much effort to get here and I still begin some days not caring!
Convert 6th Emotion Anger into 7th Emotion Pride
After Set 3: Continue.
(c) I’m proud of my determination and ability to figure things out.
I’m proud that Laura chose me as a life partner.
I’m proud that I keep creating my workouts and content for my writing.
After Set 4 (or between sets): Continue.
(d) I’m proud that I function well alone.
I’m proud that I’m making this effort.
4. Exercise 4: Prone Leg Curl
___3___ Sets of ____12____ Reps
Convert 7th Emotion: Pride into the 8th Emotion: Courage
Convert 8th Emotion into 9th Emotion.
(a) Courage is doing the best I can for today.
Courage is expressing my feelings to her.
Courage is living for today and writing all this down.
After Set 2: Continue.
(b) Courage is acknowledging that I’m doing this alone and can ask for help.
Courage is continuing this effort.
Courage is consciously choosing to move up in emotions rather than down or staying still.
Convert 9th Emotion Courage into 10th Emotion Trust
After Set 3: Continue.
(c) I trust that this works.
I trust she loves me deeply.
I trust that writing gives me energy and a sense of perseverance.
After Set 4 (or between sets): Continue.
(d) I trust myself.
I trust that “moving up” is in my best interests.
5. Exercise 5: Crunches on the Stability Ball
___3___ Sets of ____30_____ Reps
Convert 10th Emotion: Trust into the 11th Emotion: Willingness/Determinations
Convert 10th Emotion into 11th Emotion.
(a) I’m willing to do the next set - physically and emotionally.
I’m willing to express my concerns.
I’m willing to finish this chapter today.
After Set 2: Continue.
(b) I’m willing to do this for me and my own peace of mind.
I’m willing to move up the emotional scale.
Convert 11tt Emotion Willingness/Determination into 12th Emotion Acceptance/Forgiveness
After Set 3: Continue.
(c) I accept that I’ve developed the will to do this consistently.
I forgive any thoughts or feelings that made me come in today with a bad attitude.
I accept that this is my life. I forgive others for not clearly seeing or knowing my deepest feelings. Likewise, I forgive myself for not clearly seeing their feelings.
I accept that this is an effort to write this book.
I forgive any expectations I’ve had or will have that this process should be easy.
After Set 4 (or between sets): Continue.
(d) I accept that every moment is a decision.
I forgive myself for wanting to choose surrender.
I accept that this is the easier choice - moving up the emotional scale.
I accept that there is momentum now moving me up.
I forgive the past and accept it as only existent in my mind.
I accept that how I reflect on the past can be changed.
6. Exercise 6: Side Plank Crunches
___3___ Sets of ___12___ Reps
Review All Original Intentions:
(a) Increase Confidence
(b) Deepen Spirituality
(c) Develop Content for Book
(d) Become a "New Person" in 30 Days
DIET JOURNAL: (log in any foods you consumed for the day)
Egg White Omelets
Veggies
Protein Shake
Chicken Salad Sandwich
Grilled Chicken Sandwich
ADDITIONAL JOURNAL ENTRIES:
I continued calibrations into Clarity and Love. Not bad considering I started out with Apathy.
Acceptance/Forgiveness into Clarity
I’m clear that this formula is succeeding for me.
I’m clear that I have a choice in how I communicate.
I’m clear that things get easier as I go along with this.
I’m clear that every day I succeed.
I’m clear that I’ve been able to overcome a great boundary already.
Clarity into Love
I love this situation that I put myself in.
I love her deeply.
I love working out.
I love choosing to be here right now.
I love myself.
I love that I started out feeling apathetic and am now feeling wonderful.
Finally I reviewed my original intentions by listing what they mean to me today.
Increased Confidence: I believe I’m accomplishing this simply because I don’t care as much. Increased confidence for me is now a silent confidence and of a 'letting go' sensation.
Deepen Spirituality: I’ve been very faithful to my Course in Miracles workbook. I keep going back to the idea of all my actions serve the idea that we can release ourselves from depression.
Develop Content for this Book: Lots of content being developed. As I type this draft out I realize I’m up to 215 pages worth of content and it’s only DAY 13!
Become a New Person in 30 Days: This one is more difficult to evaluate. All I know is that every day I choose to write on my laptop I become a writer. I can choose today to become a person who gets things done.
Click Here for Chapter 9.
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